Yalan Xiao

1936年9月27日，北京密云肖家的大小姐出生了，那就是我的奶奶肖雅兰。奶奶出生在一个家境殷实的家庭，父亲肖法章人称肖八爷，母亲曹凤仪是那个年代不多的读过书的女人，还做过老师。奶奶家里有两个哥哥，肖福洪和肖福州，还有一个妹妹肖雅芳。大哥去世的早，二哥和妹妹都健在，一直在北京生活。 On Sept. 27th of 1936, the first daughter of the Xiao Family of Miyun, Beijing was born. She was my grandma, Yalan Xiao. Grandma was born in a fairly well-off family. Her father, Fazhang Xiao, was addressed as Sir Xiao 8th, while her mother, Fengyi Cao, was one of the few educated woman at the time and was once an elementary school teacher. Grandma had two older brothers, Fuhong and Fuzhou, and a sister, Yafang. The elder brother passed away at a young age, and the other brother and sister currently reside in Beijing. 奶奶小的时候全家就搬到了北京城里，前几年奶奶还去看过当年的老房子。那是座落在鼓楼旁边的一个四合院，现在已经被改造的面目全非，看不出太多过去的样子。 Grandma’s family moved to live in downtown Beijing when she was little. A few years ago, she went back to visit the old house. It is a Beijing style courtyard, a rectangular compound built in a traditional Chinese style with gray bricks and tiles. Now the old courtyard has been remodeled so completely that one cannot even recognize its former self. 奶奶和她的同龄人经历了中国历史变化最大的年代。刚刚出生的时候就经历了抗战，然后是内战。那时候奶奶还小，对战争的记忆不多，但依稀还记得美国援助的大米、奶粉以及大军进城前隐约的炮声。 Grandma and people of her age experienced the period with the largest changes in recent Chinese history. In the second year after her birth, the Japanese invaded China. In 1937, the war to fight off the Japanese lasted for 8 years. In the second year after the war with Japan ended, a Chinese civil war broke out for another 3 years. Grandma was young and didn’t have much memory of the wars, only some blurred memories of rice and powdered milk donated by the US, as well as the sound of cannon firing mixed with the sound of New Year fire crackers. 奶奶高中是在北京第四女子中学，后来好像改名叫芳草地中学，现在叫朝阳中学。奶奶对中学的事情说的不多，大概与其他人的中学没什么区别吧。其实奶奶对年轻时候的事都说的不多，爸爸也只记得奶奶讲年轻的时候一早就要起来赶公交车上班，一分钟都不能迟到。那是一家当年苏联援建的生产电子管的工厂。奶奶开始做管芯的封装，就是在那个玻璃外壳一端抽真空，然后在把它烧软、封起来。后来奶奶调去了另外一个部门，做各种仪表的计量校准。那段时间奶奶的生活也算是无忧无虑。虽然也有各种的政治运动，但是奶奶还小，沾不上边。只听奶奶说起来在60年代初的困难时期因为食物短缺，走亲访友的时候都不在对方家里吃饭。 Grandma had her high school in Beijing 4th Girl School. The school later on changed its name to Fragrant Lawn School, and now Sunrise High School. Grandma didn’t mention much of her high school life, or her life in 20s, probably nothing different from normal. Dad recalled Grandma had to catch the bus every day to work 20 miles from home. Even being just a minute late to work was not tolerated. Grandma worked in a Soviet-built factory manufacturing vacuum tubes. Her job was in assembly, and involved vacuuming the tube, melting one side and sealing it. Grandma later got reassigned to the department of metrology. Specifically, she was responsible for quality control, inspecting all meters and gauges. Her life at that age was worry-free. Although there were some political movements at the time, grandma was very young and did not get involved. Perhaps the most impressive was the food shortage in early 1960s. In the first 3 years of 1960s, China had a country wide food shortage. Every family suffered starving. People hosting visitors did not provide them with a meal, which is very improper in traditional Chinese culture. 和其他的母亲及家庭主妇一样，奶奶把后来的精力都放在家庭及儿女身上了。爸爸出生在文革那年，姑姑是前一年。肖八爷显然不是当时地位最高的劳动人民，所以奶奶的成分自然就不好，属于靠不住的那一类人。爷爷的问题也不小，被称作“保皇派”。当然这不是什么好事。一天夜里，爷爷被红卫兵抓走，奶奶带着两个小孩整天过着提心吊胆的日子。因为成分不好，肖八爷去世的时候不准奶奶去奔丧，后来只好谎称生病，偷偷地跑回去。路上来回200多公里，当天往返，一大半时间倒是耽误在路上了。同样是因为爷爷奶奶的成分不好，那时候家里是受歧视的，一举一动都被旁人小心地在意着，一直到文革结束。在被那些人歧视的那段时间里，奶奶心里一直相信“我的孩子们将来一定比你们的孩子好” Like many other house wives, Grandma devoted most of her time and attention on family and her children. My dad was born in the year of Cultural Revolution, my aunt was born the year before. Her father Sir Xiao 8th was not favorable politically, not belonging to the superior working class. Inherited from her dad, Grandma naturally was in the class of low political trust. Grandpa’s situation wasn’t any better. He was called a “Royalist”, ie. not a revolutionist. One night, Grandpa was arrested by Red Guard, putting my grandma and her two children into a state of great uncertainty. Due to lack of political trust, grandma was not allowed to attend her dad’s funeral when Sir Xiao 8th passed away. She had to lie and pretend she was ill, to sneak out and show her last respect to her dad. It was a long one-day bus ride. In that 125 miles round trip, most of the time was spent on the road. Again, due to lack of political trust, grandma’s family was closely monitored. Every single movement was carefully inspected by authorities until the end of the Cultural Revolution. However, Grandma always carried faith and believed that “my children will be better than yours”, while facing those people made her life tough, hard and stressful. 爸爸小的时候奶奶每周六休息，爷爷周日休息，出去跑着玩的时间比其他小孩子少了一天，这让爸爸有点郁闷。奶奶休息的那天有做不完的家事，当然爸爸和姑姑都是要帮忙的。 When Dad was young, Grandma had Saturday off for work while Grandpa has Sunday off. As a result, Dad had one fewer day than the other kids his age to go out and play, which made him a little sad. On Grandma’s day off, there was a never-ending list of chores to do, which my dad and aunt had to help with. 冬天的时候，奶奶早上5点钟左右就要起来出去副食店排队买限量供应的食品，比如豆腐、带鱼、板油什么的。奶奶一早出去拿上几个号，7点左右回家把爸爸和姑姑带上一起去排队，这样一家就可以买三份。爸爸周六早上的觉通常是没的睡的，但是食品买回来以后奶奶很满意，这只是奶奶忙碌的周末的开始。 ¬¬¬¬¬¬ During winter, Grandma would go to grocery store to queue up and buy food rations, such as tofu, belt fish, pork fat etc. Grandma would get there early to pick up a number, and around 7 she would return home to bring along my dad and aunt back to the grocery store to wait in line. This way, she was able to buy three times the allotted amount. Dad was rather unhappy about not being able to sleep in on Saturdays, but Grandma was always very pleased to come home with the purchased food. However, this was only the beginning of Grandma’s busy weekend. 接下来还要打扫家里，洗衣做饭，弄着弄那，忙不完的事。后来奶奶的妈妈中风，奶奶就更忙了。或者是在家里照顾自己的妈妈，或者周末去哥哥、妹妹家看妈妈。这样的生活一直持续到退休前的几年。还好爸爸和姑姑都比较让奶奶省心，爸爸在外面和别的小孩子打架也不是很多。 Next she had to clean the house, do laundry, cook and do an endless list of other chores. After Grandma’s mother had a stroke, Grandma got even busier. Sometimes, she had to take care of her mother in her own home. Other times, her mother would stay at her brother’s or sister’s home and Grandma would visit during the weekend to take care of her. This pattern continued until just a few years before Grandma retired. Luckily, Grandma did not have to worry too much about my dad and aunt, Dad seldom got into fights with other kids. 奶奶其实是很爱玩儿的。自己没条件就鼓动爸爸玩儿，怂恿爸爸去滑冰、支持爸爸出去旅游、盼望爸爸会开飞机。。。这个习惯爸爸也传给了我。我小的时候去过很多地方旅游，也玩儿过很多东西。唯一爸爸不给我玩的就是电动玩具。我有时候会不交作业，这倒是和奶奶、爸爸没什么关系。 Grandma is actually a playful person. Whenever she had free time, she would persuade my dad to go out and do something fun together. This included activities such as ice skating and traveling. She had a dream that one day my dad would be able to fly a plane. I owe this adventurous personality to both of them. When I was young, I also traveled to a lot of places and loved to have fun new experiences. The only type of fun that my dad would not allow me to have is playing video games. Sometimes I would have too much fun and skip doing my homework (though this quality has nothing to do with my dad and Grandma). 奶奶50岁就退休了。退休后和爷爷在一起生活的很开心，那时候爸爸和姑姑已经上大学了。可是4年后爷爷就去世了，奶奶的生活再次发生了改变。爸爸在爷爷去世的后一年就来美国了，姑姑工作也忙，奶奶平时主要是自己生活。姑姑常回家来看奶奶，陪奶奶聊聊天、吵吵架。 Grandma retired at the age of 50. After retirement, she had a happy life with my grandpa. My dad and aunt had already started university then. However, four years later, Grandpa passed away. Grandma’s life took another turn. The year after Grandpa passed away, my dad moved to the US. Because my aunt also was kept busy with work, Grandma usually lived alone. My aunt would visit Grandma often to accompany her and chat with her. 那时候奶奶年轻，身体还好，自己也经常运动。我出生的时候奶奶就在身边，爸爸给我起名叫Stephen。这个名字的第一个音节和中文的“死”有点像，所以奶奶就叫我Tephen，一直都是这样。以后的几年里，奶奶多数时间和姑姑在北京生活，有时候会来美国和我们一起住。奶奶在美国去过很多地方，西部的国家公园几乎都去过。奶奶去过的地方印象最深的是Death Valley，Las Vegas和墨西哥的Tijuana。有一次奶奶和爸爸做了一次说走就走的旅行，花了一个周末去Yosemite。 At the time Grandma was still relatively young and healthy, and she exercised often. When I was born, Grandma was there. My dad gave me the name of Stephen. In Chinese, the pronunciation of the initial “S” in “Stephen” sounds quite similar to the word for death in Chinese, thus Grandma would not say it and called me “Tephen” instead. Ever since I was young, she’s always called me by that. The years following, Grandma would live near my aunt in Beijing for most of the time, but sometimes she would still visit us in California. In America, Grandma visited quite a few places, including most of the national parks in the entire western region of US. Of the places she’s traveled, the most impressionable were Death Valley, Las Vegas, and Tijuana, Mexico. Once, Grandma and Dad took a spontaneous vacation to Yosemite over a weekend. 奶奶来美国定居是2013年了。那一年妹妹上大学，我去香港传教。奶奶和爸爸一起看房子、买房子、买家具、装饰家里。奶奶忙的好开心。可惜这样的快乐时光没有太久，2014年奶奶中风，走路开始不方便了。但这并没有影响奶奶去旧金山、费城、纽约、华盛顿旅游。虽然需要有人推着她，奶奶还是很开心能去不同的地方走走看看。 Grandma has been living in US ever since 2013. That year, my sister started college, and I began serving my mission in Hong Kong for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Grandma would go with my dad to look for houses, and later furniture once the sale was closed. Sadly, this happy period did not last long. In 2014, Grandma had a stroke, and could not walk well after that. But this setback didn’t stop her from touring San Francisco, Philadelphia, New York, or Washington these past few years. Even though she needed someone to help with her wheelchair, she was still very happy to visit all these different places. 平时在家里奶奶最喜欢的就是周末去逛Garage Sale，可以看到很多不同的人，可以去很多家串门，还可以看到很多自己喜欢的东西。时间久了，逛garage sale好像成了奶奶周末的固定节目。无论能不能买到自己喜欢的东西，奶奶都会很开心。奶奶还喜欢打扑克牌，平时家里人不够多，没人陪她玩儿，只有我过节回来的时候才能凑齐4个人和奶奶一起玩儿。别看奶奶好久不玩儿了，所有的套路都记得，全然是高手风范，但是偶尔也会因为出错牌赖皮一下。 When at home in the US, Grandma’s favorite activity is to shop in garage sales on the weekend. She loved garage sales because she can meet many different people, and she can also find a lot of things that she likes. After a while, garage sales practically became her weekly activity, and even when she didn’t find anything she liked, Grandma was still very happy. Grandma also liked to play card games. Usually at home there were never enough people to play a complete game. Only when I came home from school holiday did we have the necessary four players to play. Despite not having played in many years, Grandma was still an expert player and knew all the tricks and strategies to the game. Although occasionally she accidentally plays the wrong card and then convinces the rest of us to let her get away with not playing completely by the rules for that round. 最近这几年奶奶的身体健康越来越不好了，很少出门走动了，也更容易累了。现在奶奶回到了天国，那里没有病痛，没有悲伤。我们知道天父爱我们，也爱我的奶奶。在永生中，我们会和奶奶在一起，我们全家会在天国重新相聚。奶奶再见，我们爱你。 These past few years, Grandma’s health has been steadily declining. She got tired easily and did not go out as much. Now Grandma is in paradise, where there is no pain, no sorrow. I know our Heavenly Father loves us and loves my Grandma. In our eternal life, we will be with Grandma again and be together again as a family. Good bye Grandma, we love you.