Darrell Akanno

How do I say goodbye to my baby, my love, my friend, my confidant, my conscience, my companion, and lover?

Darrell, the youngest of five boys, was born July 29, 2000 in Dallas, Texas. The month Darrell was conceived, Elsie, his mother, looked at her sons and thought to herself how quiet all four boys were. They always kept to themselves in their rooms, contrary to her own brothers that never stayed out of the girls' rooms. When you shook their hands, or hugged them, you were frightened by lizards or startled by a bizarre object or action. God answered Elsie the next month by giving her Darrell 5 ½ years after Chima, the fourth born child. Though Darrell was not as daring and loud as her brothers, he displayed the typical boyish behaviors. Darrell possessed gifts that changed the family.

Darrell was a unifier. When he was younger, he often brought us all together to talk about him; it was either about what he did for us or what he did to us. He was so cute either way. Elsie could not see herself being forceful or the typical disciplinarian with him that she was with the other boys. Darrell encompassed every expectation of having boys. At 6 years old he played teenage pranksthe pranks his siblings could not imagine or dared to play. He found Beck, and Cole in our neighborhood and they coursed their adventures ding dong ditching parents, including his mom. He would receive timeouts for this. During timeouts at 6 years old, he would escape to Mrs. Clark to see Beck or Natalie Roos, and then return to resume sometimes without me knowing, or if I caught him he would justify his escape by reading me his rights as a child, and would tell me how long a child, in America, can sit out6-year-olds can only sit for 6 minutes.

Darrell was a lawyer in his younger days, and a doctor and a peacemaker in his older years. He wanted to be a writer and an actor, but by nature of the last two years of his battle with cancer and GVHD, his mom expected him to be an oncologist. As a child, Darrell needed a reason to do anything he was asked to do. He would do it, but you would have to tell him why. It is common to find contracts and write-ups all over my house regarding things such as "100 reasons why I do not need to go to Kumon or Sylvan Learning Center". All the 100 reasons were spelled out and numbered. He made his mom sign contracts for everything. Elsie signed upward of 10,000 contracts. The first 10 years of his life consisted of Elsie signing legal documents drafted by him. The last two years of Darrell's life he became a seasoned doctor. Darrell owned his diagnosis. He read up on it, knew every medicine, side effect, the contradictions the associated symptoms of his diagnosis. Darrell never missed a pill even when he was taking 65 pills a day, he never missed checking his blood pressure, or taking his blood sugar, and he understood his labs. He did all of this with such poise and grace that it amazed his mom, who could not have done what she did for Darrell without his help. In fact, she could not have done it with any other child but him. He epitomized responsibility and vision.

Darrell saw beyond the surface, he always got what he wanted, be it where he wanted to go, or what he wanted to eat, not withstanding, he got it, the way he would talk to you, it would be impossible for you to say no to him. He gave Elsie dreams that she was too scared to visualize. At 7 years old, he told his mom she should open a restaurant, since she was such a good cook. He designed a menu, wrote job descriptions for his brothers and made calls to real estate properties. Property owners began calling the home phone, asking Elsie to view their properties. This is just one example of the way he was. He was ahead of his years, always thinking, always full of new ideas, hope and aspiration. He had an imagination that the world most often did not understand. He took to his drawings and writings. He pushed Elsie to dream beyond her limitations and circumstances. He inspired her. He guided her.

Darrell was wise beyond his years. Elsie could say something to his brothers like, "go shave your beard, you look like a monkey." Darrell would stop me and say, "Mom you could do that in a more appropriate way, you are the smartest person I know; I'll let you choose between two alternate ways to convey that. And, hey Mom, an apology would be kind of appropriate too." He was courageous, brave, eloquent, and appropriate. He was always considerate, yet outspoken; strong, yet loving personality. Darrell would tell you the way it is in the most realistic, yet respectful way. His mom debated the options and sometimes reluctantly accepted his opinions because they were always right. It is so hard to describe this child. We lovingly butted heads, because he would express himself, in the most loving and most respectful ways; these views always complemented my deficiencies. He was indeed my second conscience, other than the Holy Spirit.

As Darrell got older he loved everybody and everything, and all animals. He would defend the rights of every living thing, ask his Aunt Theresa, Dr. Kuforiji, Anty Didi, or Ms. K, or his friends. Whatever Darrell decided to do, he did well. He found Christ and his life took a different dimension, he became spirit-filled at Grace Outreach in 2006. In the last 18 months of his life, he was on fire for Jesus. He would wake up in the middle of the night to praying and speaking tongues; he read and analyzed the bible like a seasoned Pastor, whenever he saw me praying in my closet he got upset that I did not inform him. He became my prayer partner. Darrell collected the name of cancer patients and homeless people and prayed for them daily. Dr. Boghart, Erick, Heather, Sean, Susan, Charles, etc. your name and other names are still on Darrell's bed where he left them, and I believe he is continuing the intercession. He says he did not wish the pain of GVHD to his worst enemy, even though he did not have any enemies. As Elsie entered prayer partnership with Darrell, his faith grew; he applied his natural eloquence and poise to prayer and he beat her easily. Elsie prayed first, and he prayed after, and if she prayed after him, he would cap the prayer by indisputable ability to bring down the presence of God. Elsie's friends know about her love for prayer and come to the house to join, but when she started doing one-on-one prayers with Darrell, she felt inferior. She became jealous of what he had with God, and started thinking God may be transferring her love for prayer to him. Thank God for doing that, because God knew he had little time.

Darrell took the undeniable responsibility of a father, lover, helper, and mediator, and as the person who challenged the family to be better. He excused everyone for their short comings and encouraged forgiveness. He loved big and lived large. One day as we were driving home Darrell said he wanted a sandwich from Subway; he went into Subway with a $25 gift card and came out without food, and without the card, his mom probed him for an explanation since it was very unlike him not to get what he wanted. He hesitated before saying that he gave the card to the homeless guy because he needed food than him; he said he did not want to say anything because his mom is judgmental and always said the beggars on the streets use the money you give them for drugs and he should give only to organizations. He convinced Elsie otherwise. He would say they have no choice and are overwhelmed by circumstances. He would stop and call them "Bro," asking them their story. He would give them the money his Uncle Sam sent him, and not just $1 bills.

As previously mentioned, Darrell was diplomatic and opinionated. He had strong political views at 16 years old. The following was his Facebook post on the recent political saga: "I wasn't really going to make a post about this election that has recently happened. However, this needs to be said. To all the people who can't deal with the fact that Donald Trump is our new presidentgrow up! It's not the end of the world. These unnecessary protests (riots) just show how even more stupid our country is getting and how severely divided we are as one nation. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to even represent our country, because we're always known to settle our problems by burning flags, vandalizing property, destroying towns and cities, and overall acting senseless. We need to remember, people: We are a Democracy, Donald Trump is a figurehead, and you are the primary source in this country. Start acting like it."

He just could not understand when adults act like children. He would love them, but would intelligently and respectfully voice his opinion, whether it was about gay-, human-, women's-, or animal rights, or teachers' salaries, racism, discrimination, or stupidity. When we went out to eat, his mom would leave a $20 tip, he would go back in the restaurant and pretend to use the restroom and add all the money he had on him.

His first job was as a Tom Thumb cashier before Ms. K and I talked him out of it. He stopped that job and when we go to the grocery store he tells me to align my returned cart, and most times would come out and do it himself no matter how tired he was.

Darrell was Darrell! He was a child that brought laughter and joy to our family and made us all think. Without the help of God and the support of her sisterDarrell's favorite aunt, Elsie could not measure up to the challenges of raising Darrell. His aunt was a back-up mom who spent time and money on him. If money or love could bring Darrell back, he would be sitting here with us. But why do we want him back? It would be selfish. He lived, he loved, he left. He has gone home with the Lord, where no one can touch him. He is free to continue to love. He is convincingly in a better place where no man can touch him. He is strolling the streets of Heaven with his grandma and grandpa. He is free from GVHD, liver problems, kidney problems, bone problems, photopheresis, plasma exchange, etc. He is free. He knew his destination. His mom's question to everyone is, do you know your next address? Darrell knew before departure. He is heaven bound. A visitation will be held Thursday, February 16, 2017 from 7-9:00 p.m. at Allen Family Funeral Options. A funeral service to celebrate Darrell's life will be held Friday, February 17, 2017 at Grace Outreach Church, 3301 Preston Rd., Plano, Texas 75093